Momservation: Love Christmas. Love the end of Christmas break even more and want to marry it.

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There’s nothing like seeing your kids heading into the halls of knowledge in search of expanded education.

Who am I kidding? My tires were screeching from the curb as I practically threw the kids out the car, eager for my freedom and to let silence reign in my home again.

I love my babies, but I’ve always been a big believer in separation makes the heart grow fonder. We definitely need a build up of love around here – especially between brother and sister. We began the day with sister getting her fingers smashed in a door by brother because they were fighting over who got to use the bathroom first. Forget that we have two bathrooms – THAT would be too easy a solution.

I then end up screaming at my son, and there we were, right back in the normal morning routine as if two weeks of peace and love in the spirit of the holiday season never happened.

Are we sure we’ve rolled over to 2010 here because I’m having a little déjà vu of 2009?

If it’s true those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it, I better go back and take a peek at the last year’s blog topics so I make the most of my do-over for Mother of the Year (although I might have already blown it this morning thanks to a few choice words yelled at high decibels).

Take a peek with me and see if we can learn from my mistakes and all save ourselves the hurt and pain of another rejection letter from the MOTY nominating committee…

In January we kicked the year off with…

Family Ear Wax Night – Some families have Game Night. Some families have Movie Night. Our family looks in each other’s ears for the biggest field of ear wax potatoes. It was a low point in our family history, but highly entertaining. Also explains why no one listens in this house…

The Flu Virus Smackdown – After the family battles a nasty flu bug before there was a hysteria over swines with runny noses, I swear to get flu shots next time. Got the 1^st round of H1N1 shots for the kids this last fall, but they ran out of the required booster. Still flying unprotected but feeling lucky this January…

In February it was already getting rocky with…

Careful What You Wish For – A week off for “Ski Week” gives the kids their wish for no school only to lay around moaning they’re bored with constant bickering. Fell out of the running for Mother of the Year early when I snapped, going into a screaming monologue ending with, “Mommies don’t get vacations!”

What Would the Donner Party Do? – How did the Donner Party survive without a DVD player in their covered wagon? Reflections upon all the things I thought I’d do right when I had kids vs. the reality of lowering your standards.

In March things went south with…

Name That Putrid Smell – I have never been so disgusted to find exactly what I’ve been looking for. The source of which made the family SUV smell like a rolling stinky cheese factory and made me forever ban milk in our to-go Happy Meals in favor of sodas and adding to the childhood obesity problem.

Grease is Still the Word (Though Slightly Censored) – Didn’t realize I belonged in the Fuddy-Duddy Club with my dad until it was my turn to relive the original “High School Musical” movie, “Grease,” with my own kids. Who knew my first musical love was so nasty? Apparently Dad…

In April things continued to get sticky…

Will Work for Candy – An ode to Easter candy and why Mommy’s gaining calories instead of losing them when she cleans the house.

A No Good Very Bad Mommy – But the PMS made me do it! A low point in my mommy career when I just couldn’t stop myself from saying something stupid.

In May things start looking up…

I Won Mother of the Year!! – Implausible but true if you believe what you see. Great Mother’s Day accolades as funny viral video fools my kids into thinking the world now knows what they know – Mom’s the best.

Hair Today Gone Tomorrow – After patiently waiting for 18 month, my son finally voluntarily cuts his shaggy-dog hair. Which was good because pretty soon protecting self-image and self-esteem was not going to trump looking like an idiot.

In June things take a turn for the worse…

This is Not a Drill – My daughter becomes the winner of the first broken appendage and cast in the family just in time for summer vacation. We’re just glad her brother had nothing to do with it.

Goodbye Fuzzy Baby – The first born of our family, our 14 year-old yellow Lab, Kyber, is gone and 100 dog years seems too soon to say goodbye. My mother’s heart is broken.

In July we bounce back with…

The Dangers of Running, Jumping and Pivoting – Forget doctor’s orders, nothing can stop the resiliency of children. Especially an eight year old girl with a cast determined to keep living an action packed summer.

Bear Smorgasbord and a 250 Pound Racoon – What’s more fun than camping, leaving your garbage out and avoiding the truth? How about a bear feet from your tent and a ten year old son who thinks he just saw the world’s largest raccoon…

In August things got hectic…

Operation Haven’t-Aged-a-Day – It takes some simple words from an eight year old to put in perspective what really matters in the face of a 20-year high school reunion.

I Survived Summer Vacation – An action-packed summer is worthy of a commemorative T-shirt or at the very least gain some traction for a Mother of the Year nomination.

In September we’re trying to hang in there…

Mom’s Top Ten Rules for Kids – Time for some ground rules and to quit repeating myself (at high decibels).

(Not So) Proud Parenting Moment – You can do your best to raise good kids and yet you can still go so wrong. Like having a son who thinks his sister is going to wind up “a lonely old lady who talks to her cats” if she doesn’t get married…

In October some time for reflecting…

God Bless America and Other Expletives – You are not truly a mother until you utter tried and true phrases you used to hate – including “I don’t care who started it” and “Do I look like a waitress to you?”

Striving to be My Best Possible Self – Taking a 2-day break from being Mom to join 25,000 women at The Women’s Conference is a good reminder the world may be much larger than me but I am worthy of leaving my mark.

In November we’re barely hanging on…

Parenting Disney Style – After a trip to Disney World it becomes evident these are the people we need in charge. Taking a page from their playbook might just be the way to make our own homes the happiest place on earth.

Diary of a CEO (Chief of Everything Officer) – Flashing back to the chronicles of just one hectic day as the mother of a three and five year old proves that we moms need a raise.

And in December we’re just happy to have survived another year of parenthood with another shot at Mother of the Year 2010…

Holiday Momservations™ - If I have learned nothing as a mother it is that clothes for Christmas is right up there with lima beans for dinner and if you have a toddler, go ahead and throw your heirloom glass ornaments on the ground right now to get it over with.

A Holiday Hit and Run – Did Someone

See That Christmas That Hit Me? – The miracle of Christmas might just be that we survive it. A list of reasons I was too busy to write this blog.