Momservation: If your kids aren’t mad at you or hate you at some point, then you’re not doing your job as a parent.

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After recently bringing a puppy into our lives, I’ve come to realize there’s not a lot of difference between raising kids and dogs.

(Cat’s don’t count because they just want you to leave them the hell alone – which I guess would mean there’s not a lot of difference between raising teenagers and cats, but I’m not quite there yet.)

When your kids are little it is so important to teach them what the rules are, what’s expected of them and what won’t fly. Then you have to reinforce the behavior you’re looking for with repetition, consistency and praise.

And treats are key.

Sounds about the same as training a dog, right?

I like to think I’ve got good, obedient kids. I take great pride in knowing we made it through the early years without one of them being known as “The Biter” or being blacklisted from any parks. So applying the same obedience strategy, I’m working hard to make sure our puppy, Darby, doesn’t ruin my streak. Here are my basic rules:

Ten Rules for Obedient Kids and Dogs

1. Nobody likes a biter. Zero tolerance policy on aggression. Nip it (HA!) in the bud with severe consequences that don’t include more violence.
2. Play nicely with others. If you can’t play nice, then it’s time to go home or have some time alone. If you want to have a friend, be a friend.
3. Do what you’re told the first time. You undermine your authority if you allow anything else.
4. Manners count. Being on your best behavior at all times will earn you affection and respect.
5. Don’t beg. It’s a nuisance and it should never be given in to.
6. Good behavior = Reward. Positive reinforcement is a powerful tool. Love, affection and praise are basic cravings. And who can resist a good treat?
7. Share with friends. Selfishness should be discouraged because it can lead to other antisocial behaviors.
8. Everything has its place. Have designated areas for eating, sleeping, going potty, keeping toys, playing, etc. Consistency with these boundaries creates security.
9. Make good choices. Make it clear what your expectations are and reward for resisting temptation. Soon they’ll be able to do it on their own.
10. Set a good example. Keeping your temper and frustrations in check will teach appropriate response and behavior and keep anxiety levels down.