Momservation: I think my kids are going to become astronauts because there is nothing left on this earth for them to fight about.

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 Air-bags were really invented by a mother to keep kids from fighting over the front seat of car.

 (from Momservations™- The Fine Print of Parenting)

You know as much fun as kids can be, sometimes they can really suck the fun out of things.

Bring them down to the river to look for ladybugs and they start arguing over who gets to hold the jar. Soon it becomes a one-upmanship to see who has caught the most ladybugs.

“I’ve got 15!”

“Oh yeah, well I got 17!”

“No you didn’t because three flew away when you tried to put them in the jar, so I’m ahead!”

“You’re a cheater! Mom!”

Take the kids to get ice cream and soon it’s a showdown over who gets to order first, who’s got three licks more ice cream, whose flavor tastes better.

“Mint chip is the best!”

“Mint chip’s boring. Chocolate fudge brownie is way better.

“You’re a do-do.”

“You’re a ding-dong.”

“Mom!”

I’m pretty much ready to cancel Family Movie Nights because it traditionally starts with an argument over which movie to rent:

“I want to see Monsters vs. Aliens.”

“We’ve already seen that. I want to see Sandlot.”

“Well we’ve already seen that 50 bazillion-jillion times. No way!”

“Mom!”

Followed by a wrestling match in the kitchen over who captains the popcorn machine:

“It’s my turn to dump the popcorn!”

No it’s my turn!”

“Mom!”

Finishing with me shutting off the movie early because someone won’t stop touching someone or quit hogging the covers:

“Mom, tell Logan to stop touching his pinky toe to me!”

“Mom, tell Whitney to get her hair off my side of the bed!”

It’s times like these, when the kids suck the fun out of what should’ve been a nice family moment, that I end up shouting:

“You know I don’t have to be doing this! I could be doing something a lot more fun by myself – like cleaning bathrooms or folding laundry!”

To which the kids know they’ve really crossed the line now and immediately fall into order.

The latest inconsequential argument to take the cake though was over the release of my book, Momservations™- The Fine Print of Parenting this week.

“What do you think kids?” I excitedly asked expecting some praise for the ol’ Mom-moo.

“I’m on the cover and you’re not! Ha Ha!”

“I don’t want to be on the dumb cover. You look like a ding-dong on it anyway.”

“Mom!”

Next book I’m putting a picture of them both naked in the bathtub on the front cover.